Oh, He will not cast you out, He will not cast you out

Whoever enters in will forever dwell with Him

Draw near, faint heart, draw near

Oh, love still bids you welcome here

(Oh that hope that I have in God.... why do I give this love away in hope for better things, to look for the god of social media, the god of material goods to satisfy the longing of my heart, the god of being locked in a cycle of endless scrolling.)

I thought this year would be a year of focusing on myself, like putting myself first. But I have realised it's something far different from what I had thought. It is still focusing on myself, but it is more of what I should clear away, what I should change and what I should remove. By far the hardest one is to change my perspective about life. 

What is life about? To change the way I think about how life is. To take that one big leap of faith and trust God to work things out for good to those who loves Him. To change the way I live, down to the basics of life. To ask God, what does He wants me to do with my time, with my gifts, with my talents and with my life. 

To live a life that pleases God, down to the smallest of things and the most minute details. 

To depend on and need God. Sometimes, I wonder where the balance is. How to live life, the way God has created me, with that amount of autonomy knowing that what I am doing is because of how I am created and at the same time, to depend and trust God. 

May everything I do O Lord, everything that I am going to do henceforth be pleasing in your sight. Forgive me for walking astray from you, swatting my eyes to the other side of the road and looking for various whores that provides only temporary pleasures. Help me to honor you with all that I am. I want to be ready for your second coming and I want to be known as your beloved servant whom you are proud of. Lead me to your way, even if it may be a narrow path. Remind me that fear has no place in your perfect love and any of such fear or anxiety are from the evil one. May every step be one that is filled with confidence and trust in you. May you grow me to be a woman after your heart and a woman who have high standards. Thank you O Lord.