This entire post will be a paraphrased from a podcast because this really spoke to my heart and I would really like to document this :)

The struggle is real, too real to be shared or even analysed with someone because if I did, there might be some loopholes in my view of God or myself. But that's the truth, in my understanding of truth, there are loopholes that only the Holy Spirit can uncover. Today, while sinking my teeth into a Toastbox kaya and butter multigrain toast and while sipping my tea, I came across an article that exposed the feelings of my heart. Some of which I, myself have uncovered but had no courage to further look into. And so, the article helped, helped a lot.


I am 28, a Secondary school teacher and that's not a profession to meet single men. I know that anyone other than who God has selected for me will leave me empty and joyless. At the same time, I feel alone as a single. Yes, I should stop calling myself a single because singleness does not define me. Which is hard not to take personally. How do I have hope in something uncertain? I’m not promised a life of marriage. How do I cling to the truth in a world lying to me about the satisfaction of ‘hooking up’? How do I not turn to the world when I feel like the church, Christian men, and even God himself, seems to have no place for me?”

Truth that I have to face - We do put hope in uncertain things and things that are not promised. (sadly, marriage in not a certain thing that is promised). Our hope should be in what God's Word says and His promises about me. 

Lie that I have to face - "But Eve was already feeling the lure of resentment against God. God is withholding something from me in my life and I don’t like it. He is a stingy God. He is a narrow God. He doesn’t have my best interest at heart. So, when Ashley says, “I feel like the church, Christian men, and God have no place for me,” we may understand and empathize with the feeling, but alarm bells should be going off in her and our minds that the lie of Satan is taking root in the statement: God has no place for me." 

Truth that I want to face - We swim in the truth 
Jesus did say in Matthew that there are some who are called to be eunuchs for various reasons, totally unknown to anyone. God also promised in Isaiah that the eunuchs who keeps HIs Sabbaths, who choose what pleases Him and hold fast to His covenant to them God will give within His temple and its walls, a memorial and a name better than sons and daughters. He will give them an everlasting name that will not be cut off. A momument and a name (an everlasting name, I must add ) 

Thank you God