June has arrived and May has become history.
Many things, big and small have been happening. But God has always, as usual be in total control so I am looking forward to this new season of really trusting God totally and whole-heartedly. Mission trip has been redirected to India, Bihar which may have put everyone is a panic mode (or just me!). Children's camp is nearing which excites the heart of mine. Blessed and totally pampered by God, since I am allowed to serve Him, alongside with good friends. Praise be to God (:

Will I give everything to follow after Christ? My hopes, my dreams, my desires, my wants? 
But if everything I am is God created, aren't everything I hope and dreams of legit?
Do I desire Jesus more than anything? More than marriage, playing netball, building a carrear and buying a nice house or renovating, family with 3/4 children.  Am I able to surrender all these, in light of following the true Prince of my heart. 

Sometimes, I wonder what to say about all the songs that I have sang saying that "I give my all to You" when in actual fact, I am holding everything so closely and tightly, that God in His love, would have to gently ripe them away from me and teach me to learn how to place these God given dreams somewhere in my heart till they are ready to ripe.  Someone said that God is a gentleman? HAHA. I will wish to decline. God is no gentleman, He is God. 

He does whatever He pleases and no one has a say. But am I forgetting that GOD IS LOVE. Everything He does, is because He loves us. If He who has given His only Son to us, doesn't that shows how much He loves us. Why would He want to wreck our lives (or we think so) when He has already given us so much. Seriously. 

Sometimes, talking to God about such things does not bring about a simple and easy answer. He is not a God of confusion or complexities, He just wants people of His own to trust Him, out of their confusion and complexities.