As much as I hate to admit it, I am such a judgmental, presumptuous, argumentative kind of girl. Almost all my life, I would roll my eyes at people's views or opinion and think that whatever I said or thought of, was the absolute truth.

And so, I am still learning.

These past few years, my wrestling matches with God haveincrease and despite my best efforts, I am always losing pretty badly. Most of the time, I find God pretty unfair, especially in my own life. I don't understand why and I just want all the answers to my questions. But God is always so very silent :/

I will ignore, withdraw, be hostile or do anything that annoys God. How very annoying I am. :/ Ashamed man.

But in this very early morning, I was wrestling with God about certain issues and I was like, "so not fair" and " like you understand :/" or like " Jesus is suppose to sympathize with me, but there are things that He may not have gone through, like girl stuff"

God, when I read the bible, it's always the same stuff.

Ohyes.
I got it really badly.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,
declares the Lord.
Isaiah 55:8

That's it.
That shut me up.
God is pretty much a strict Father.
He is definitely love and compassion, no doubt about that.
But He is a balanced Father.

So now, I still have many questions and my feelings are all over the place. My eyes are still rolling at certain things that happen and my heart feels quite weak. But God knows what He is doing. As long as I know I am holding on to God, I will trust that He knows best.

It's definitely hard. But do continue to read the rest of the chapter in Isaiah and see that the Word of God is our source of strength :)