This is how I feel :( :/ :( :/ 

Help me to stop thinking about it. I don't know why l has to feel this way, so uncertain, fragile, unclear, indirect. 

I want certainty.

But I know God is moulding me to be a woman after his own heart, a woman who is secured and understands what it means to know that God is in total and complete control over all the steps in one's life, steps that have been initiated by others, steps that have been taken by myself and steps in which I find myself. 

There is no shame. God is with you. God will take care of you, God will settle it for you, God will turn the sad parts for His glory and for my sanctification. God is with me, through the ups and downs of life and He will always be with me. 

It's okay to cry and grief. 

It's okay to desire and not have that desire met

It's okay to make mistakes  

It's okay to try and sometimes, fail.