The past, a sigh, raised head towards heavenward. 

How did I live the past 30 years? 

What did I do to sustain myself? 

Day by day, a friend reminded me and it stuck with me.

Thankful for the national day break. Had time to recuperate, that's a very kind way to say it. I am thankful that I did not need to see my colleagues and had a break from work. 

I feel guilty, do I need to see and talk to someone. 

Mentally, I want to move on and live. Emotionally, I have stagnated, unable to move. Although, slowly and very slowly, I am inching forward. Small thing have helped me. 

Am I too obsessed about getting the bod. Actually I really want to be happy. 

I thought of moving forward to a new blog. 

Start a new life, a new chapter, a new season. Say bye and leave all these bad memories that I painstakingly wrote. But these are the stuff that made me who I am. 

I hate to ask it, but sometimes, I wonder where is God. 

Pastor shared last Sunday that we have to remain faithful and persevere on. Is there a happy ending? Is our happy ending eternity? Is that what we have to look forward to? Can I survive till then? Am I missing something important, Lord? Where has my faith gone to? 

Day by day, day by day, day by day,