Finally, it's the end of a semester filled with managing expectations from myself and from others and learning how to disentangle myself from these expectation. Another very tough month to endure. God is not making it easy again. But He always provided and protected me. 

Also, finally decided on a research question for my paper due in three week's time and that will mark the end this year's studying. Ah, it was a pretty gut wrenching time to study and work at the same time. 

Every night, I lose the ability to hope for the best. It's like the day has depleted all the cheerfulness and joy and now, in the dark, you try to find something to hold on and that pretty much leads me to spending time with God. I do see my spirit and being lifted out from the rubble. What is most interesting is that most of the time, I think I can get myself out of it. 

I am going to finish reading A Thousand Splendid Suns and disclaimer, do not read it if you have a weak heart. You heart will BREAK. One of the most tragic tales and I actually had to force myself to finish reading it. 

I am not sure if the abuse mentioned is as real as it is. I think it is la. Sigh. Sometimes, you don't want to believe because you just don't want to believe. 

It is very frustrating to read the novel because it is extremely heart aching to know that the ending of the book is far from the reality of what women in Afghanistan experiences today. There is no more liberation from the American or possible warlords fighting over the land now, its the Taliban who are ruling.