2013 has been a bit shaky and I feel a bit stuck.

Sometimes, you wonder why you seem to grow more anxious, timid and fearful as you grow older. It is because you know that everything is so intricately linked and every thing you do and every decision that you make, have repercussions.

Emotions are so flicker and scary.

Just this morning, I was ready to face the new semester and was thinking of my 'To-do' and 'Not-to-do' lists and now, I am feeling so nervous about my first day of school.:/ I would do anything to just not start school.


Eyes are tearing becuase school is starting tomorrow.
I don't want to see anyone, especially the lecturers and attend lectures and tutorials and I dont want to go to boonlay.

Thinking about it, this happens all the time, since I could last remember. Based on my theory, the nervous emotions are so much more stronger than the excitement emotions and it creates a form of tension and unwillingness to go to school. 

But now, right now, typing this, I will say this aloud to whoever is hearing me and especially to myself

'For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.'

2 Timothy 1:7

I am entering this new year with less family members, less friends, less accomplishments, less strengths, less confidence and probably less everything else. On the contrary, it feels that there is more uncertainty, more stress and more commitments. 

But in you Lord, I have more hope, more growth, more grace, more strength, more love, more faith, more of everything supernatural.