It's 2am on a Christmas morning.
It's feels very different this year.

I am learning to find joy.
What joy.

The pastor mentioned that joy comes from knowing that Jesus is God's renewal plan for His creation and I am part of it.

But the things in my life, the changes I am forced to go through, the uncontrollable forces and my feelings tell me otherwise.

Hello heart, mind and soul.
You are living in victory already. And in a war, you are suppose to be fighting against thoughts and feelings that are carnal. Warfare requires me to fight, hassle, push, throw down, beat. It requires me to drip sweat and blood on the fighting ground.

Though it may seem dark and bleak, when there is so my h blood and corpse lying around and my body seems to be failing, I will have to fight on with the knowledge that my God has already won the war.

Honestly I feel like saying, go to hell devil. The war has already been war. God sits on the throne and He is waiting for a young woman that is righteous and loves Him more than anything else in the world. I will be that young woman. :)